i had a dream i stood beneath an orange sky

posted on: October 5, 2009

There have been some changes taking place lately and I feel it in my bones that there are more on the horizon. I dislike these adult decisions that need to be made as we get older. Remember when your biggest problem was that your best friend wasn't allowed to come out and play? Actually that's pretty relevant because some of my best friends have been too busy to "come out and play" haha. Where was I? Oh yeah, change. I have this problem with over analyzing (filed under 'bitches are irrational') and looking at the big picture rather than the right now aka what is relevant. So lately I keep stressing about what the hell I'll be doing in the next few years.

My biggest dilemma is school vs. work. If I continue studying at this rate, I will have a diploma by the time I'm 30! So the simple solution is to stop working and take on 5 courses each semester. But is anyone else completely terrified of quitting their job? Isn't it sort of like a bad relationship, you stay in it because it's comfortable but you know it's not "the one"? My job is my bad relationship and school seems like a great excuse to break up. I would need a quick rebound though, in a high-paying job with few hours. Stripping? Just kidding...

Then amongst the school vs. work debate comes the money issues because I need it (money that is) and with so many bills to pay, I wouldn't be comfortable without a job. Not to mention my lifestyle costs a fortune in itself. Why couldn't I have just been a loner? Or born into a family fortune?

Sometimes I wish the solution would just slap me in the face and everything would fall into place and I could live happily ever after. Damn you Disney for putting all these unrealistic ideas in our heads! Maybe Danielle is right and 2009 is just shit.
In other news, Adam is almost completely moved in after a hectic weekend. The place looks great already and there isn't even much we have to do or buy to make it cozy. It already feel like his home and that is a major relief! He seems really happy with it too, which obviously makes me smile. I loved helping him set up and organize. It's always more fun when it's not your own place! Brandi also moved this weekend and I'm so pumped to see her new place (see...more change!) I made her promise we'd do a photo shoot because her new neighbourhood is gorgeous and she has a rebel that we need to put to good use!

Don't get my wrong, with bad or confusing change comes positive change. I guess I just feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I just hope I have the strength to make a decision soon, and I hope it's the "right" one!!!!


Alexi Murdoch-Orange Sky

8 comments:

  1. Lol. I laughed at the 'bitches are irrational' part :P

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  2. As did I haha. Bitches are irrational - best line ever.

    Quitting your job is a terrifying thing, even if you're quitting it for another job. It's just not an easy decision to make. Maybe to help with the decision you could look into what sort of loans you would/could be approved for so you can try to figure out how much more you would need to insure you live without too much stress.

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  3. "But is anyone else completely terrified of quitting their job? Isn't it sort of like a bad relationship, you stay in it because it's comfortable but you know it's not "the one"? My job is my bad relationship and school seems like a great excuse to break up."

    Oh, Alicia! You articulated that dilemma so well! I'm studying for these silly Graduate entrance exams right now and contemplating applications to Grad school after being out of the system for 3 years, so I can definitely relate. Someone once told me not to worry about the money until you have to ... and that it usually sorts itself out. I hope that's true. I suppose it's all about compromise, in the end. Good luck with your decision. :)

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  4. haha well, let's be honest...we are irrational sometimes!

    Thanks for the advice...I really think you girls are right and if I have a loan to fall back on, the money issues will work out on their own. Eeek I guess we'll see what I decide for Januaray semester!!!

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