I think it's scary to be in love. It puts us in a state of vulnerability that is both exciting and uncomfortable. It's so rare to find someone who you are genuinely compatible with, someone who fits your list of "requirements" (not that any of us girls would EVER produce such a list!...)
It is also not always easy to be in a relationship. Stressful situations are thrown at you from all angles at any given time. When one of you is stressed, the other person is stressed. It's an entire person's stress as well as your own. And ironically, it feels so much better to have someone to share the stress with.
I have caught the giggles lately. Every single time Adam and I hang out I laugh uncontrollably like an immature little girl. I haven't quite figured out what it means, since I normally get the giggles at completely inappropriate times. The only conclusion I can come up with though is that I'm happy. That I am genuinely content and at peace.
A wise woman once told me that when you find someone great, you don't feel as though you are waiting. She said that with all her ex boyfriends she was always waiting. Waiting for them to be more thoughtful, waiting for them to change, waiting for something...even if she didn't quite know what it was she was waiting for. She said when you find someone great, you feel at ease because you are no longer waiting. I completely identified with her when I thought back to all my past relationships. Waiting for things to improve, waiting for things that never seemed to come. Waiting seems like such a waste of time...and it is. 
When I woke up this morning Adam said he had a surprise for me...something to give me. I knew he wasn't kidding around because he gets awkward and nervous when he has to tell me important things. I covered my eyes and he pulls a black expensive looking bag with pink ribbon handles out of his closet. The pink ribbon read "Diane's".
For no apparent reason, Adam bought me a beautiful set from Diane's Lingerie. He said that he wanted to do something nice for me because I seemed unhappy with work lately and he wanted me to feel good.Are you kidding me? Can someone pinch me?
He had contacted 3 of my friends asking where the best place to get lingerie was. He was sneaky and looked at one of my bra tags to see what size I am. Unfortunately, he happened to look at my "granny bra" which is a larger size than I normally wear. It is so close to my actual size though, he did such a great job! He even got a style that I had mentioned once...he actually listened to my ramblings and remembered what I wanted. I don't even know if I remember saying it!
I feel as though I have won the lottery, I am so lucky. And I have a feeling if you asked him, he'd say the same thing. I waited forever for ex boyfriends to get the hint and do nice things. And I think that the most frustrating part was that most of them knew what would make me feel special, but they just didn't ever want to go through the effort of doing any of it. And all at once today it hit me that I am with someone who wants to make me happy! He got the memo...he figured it out and he wants to put the effort in.
I am not telling this story to brag, but I also don't apologize for writing how I am feeling in this moment. I wear my heart on my sleeve, even if it gets me in trouble most of the time. Maybe it is possible to find someone great and to be happy for a long time...and maybe not. I am certainly no expert, though I must admit that today I am feeling very optimistic :)
Coldplay-Green Eyes
