i had a dream i stood beneath an orange sky

posted on: October 5, 2009

There have been some changes taking place lately and I feel it in my bones that there are more on the horizon. I dislike these adult decisions that need to be made as we get older. Remember when your biggest problem was that your best friend wasn't allowed to come out and play? Actually that's pretty relevant because some of my best friends have been too busy to "come out and play" haha. Where was I? Oh yeah, change. I have this problem with over analyzing (filed under 'bitches are irrational') and looking at the big picture rather than the right now aka what is relevant. So lately I keep stressing about what the hell I'll be doing in the next few years.

My biggest dilemma is school vs. work. If I continue studying at this rate, I will have a diploma by the time I'm 30! So the simple solution is to stop working and take on 5 courses each semester. But is anyone else completely terrified of quitting their job? Isn't it sort of like a bad relationship, you stay in it because it's comfortable but you know it's not "the one"? My job is my bad relationship and school seems like a great excuse to break up. I would need a quick rebound though, in a high-paying job with few hours. Stripping? Just kidding...

Then amongst the school vs. work debate comes the money issues because I need it (money that is) and with so many bills to pay, I wouldn't be comfortable without a job. Not to mention my lifestyle costs a fortune in itself. Why couldn't I have just been a loner? Or born into a family fortune?

Sometimes I wish the solution would just slap me in the face and everything would fall into place and I could live happily ever after. Damn you Disney for putting all these unrealistic ideas in our heads! Maybe Danielle is right and 2009 is just shit.
In other news, Adam is almost completely moved in after a hectic weekend. The place looks great already and there isn't even much we have to do or buy to make it cozy. It already feel like his home and that is a major relief! He seems really happy with it too, which obviously makes me smile. I loved helping him set up and organize. It's always more fun when it's not your own place! Brandi also moved this weekend and I'm so pumped to see her new place (see...more change!) I made her promise we'd do a photo shoot because her new neighbourhood is gorgeous and she has a rebel that we need to put to good use!

Don't get my wrong, with bad or confusing change comes positive change. I guess I just feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I just hope I have the strength to make a decision soon, and I hope it's the "right" one!!!!

Alexi Murdoch-Orange Sky

bob dylan

posted on: October 1, 2009

the line it is drawn
the curse it is cast
the slow one now
will later be fast
as the present now
will later be past
the order is rapidly fadin'
and the first one now
will later be last
for the times they are a-changin'

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