What’s new, what’s new? Well, summer is over and so is my writing slump. I’ve actually been to a few workout classes after an indulgent and rather lazy few months. I’ve been feeling cozy with the seasonal shift and did the big closet switchover from S/S to F/W last weekend and am so happy with the results. Purging and simplifying my wardrobe over the last year has finally paid off, the process was efficient and relatively seamless. I’ll have to take some pictures of it tomorrow and do a post on my streamlined wardrobe.
I’d also like to properly introduce you to the bracelet that I cannot stop wearing. It’s the Monica Vinader Signature Thin Bangle in rose gold. I was gifted this beauty at Nordstrom and was even able to get it engraved! I went for the Latin phrase ad maiora, which means towards greater things (or so Pinterest tells me). Feels like an appropriate sentiment to carry around with me on the daily. Also, I know this look is a tad summery, but things have warmed up here in Vancouver and if I don’t post it now, it’ll just end up in the photo abyss of things I never got around to sharing. Which would just be sad, don’t you think?
Anyway, glad to be back and hope you are all well. Can’t wait for all the fall content!
A car accident of sorts, bachelorette fun, epic Chicago views, and so much food!
THURSDAY
My journey to Chicago started off well. I was, for once, pleasantly surprised to be sitting in an exit row with extra legroom and next to a very handsome young man. The plane was small but brand new and I was feeling relatively okay about flying that day (I’m a recovering nervous flyer). Seems ideal, right? Not quite. We got all settled in and buckled up, only to sit at the gate for nearly two hours, without communication from the pilots. I wasn’t too bothered by it, but people around me were losing their minds and it was bringing out the worst in everyone. The handsome guy sitting next to me? He turned out to be a super whiny jerk about the situation because “he had PLANS, you know!” I tried my best to stay zen with all the chaos around me, but it definitely was a trying start.
I was on this new but surprisingly small plane to Chicago to attend a bachelorette for my sister-in-law to be. Anya is marrying Adam’s youngest brother, Ben, this October. You can read a bit more about them in my recap of our visit last summer. Once the plane was en route, I binge watched HBO’s Barry, which was most enjoyable and almost distracted me from all the in-flight tension. If you like a dark comedy and/or Bill Hader, you should check it out. When we finally landed, later than expected, Ben and Anya texted that they were ordering Thai food for dinner and my desperation to get to their place increased. Nothing can soothe a weary traveler like Pad Thai.
My plan was to Uber to their apartment, but in classic O’Hare fashion, a bunch of flights had all landed at the same time because of earlier thunderstorms. Prices had surged and I was unsure of where to catch the Uber. I decided to be basic and hop in a cab instead. I was in no state to be making decisions, I just wanted noodles! We sat in traffic for what felt like a lifetime and the driver and I passed the time chatting. I was also starting to feel slightly motion sick, so when we hit another patch of traffic near the end of the ride, I was like, “are you freaking kidding me?” Turns out Ben and Anya’s new place is right by Wrigley Field and a Cubs game was just getting out, so there were hundreds of pedestrians and cars in this one concentrated area. We spent like 15 minutes just trying to travel a few blocks. I told him I’d just walk, but he said it he was stuck anyway and determined to deliver me to their front door as intended. At last, we made a left turn, stopped in a line of cars and he pointed to their building. I thanked him and paid, threw my backpack on and reminded him that I needed to grab my suitcase from the trunk. In what I can only describe as a total fluke accident and something that would, of course, totally happen to me, as I opened the door and started to exit the car, the driver tried to throw the car into park, except he accidentally accelerated instead of braking. The car launched forward at great speed and the force of it flung me out the car door and started to drag me. I let out an uncontrollable scream and was, for a brief second, convinced that this was probably it. I managed to let go of the door handle, bounced off the pavement, and landed on my back in a daze. Thank goodness I had put my backpack on, or I’d have seriously injured my back and head. Once I realized that I was alive and relatively unscathed, I was overcome with immense gratitude to have survived and jumped to my feet with joy. People around flocked and were asking if I was okay and I said yes, but could also see that I was bleeding and already felt sore. I walked the 4 or 5 car lengths towards the cab (I know it was an accident, but how do you accelerate THAT hard and that far?) and the driver was absolutely distraught. I’m pretty sure he must have thought he’d killed me. Wasn’t my time though, and we both made sure we were okay and he asked my name and we hugged. It felt like we’d been through a lot together, you know? I now had my suitcase in tow and hoards of drunk baseball fans still crowded the streets. Being in shock but trying to act like I wasn’t just thrown from a moving vehicle, I decided to call Adam before going to Ben and Anya’s, as I was on the verge of tears and quite shaken up.
It’s kind of funny now to think of how Ben and Anya must have felt opening the door to find me bleeding. I had to tend to my wounds, wash my jeans, ice my elbows and knee and put a bunch of bandages on, but I was, at last, able to enjoy my comforting Thai stirfry – I’d earned it! I’ll spare the internet a photo of the giant black bruise on my bottom that took up my entire left cheek. Instead, you can see my bruised arms below, though this was 3 days later, so cuts looked much better. The human body is quite resilient!
This is just an excuse to post a wedding photo, 3 years later 😉
Last year when I wrote a little something about what a frustrating time we were going through in our marriage, it struck a chord with a lot of people. Healthy conflict within relationships isn’t necessarily widely shared, and I think it was a sigh of relief for a lot of people, like, “Oh, they have problems too!” Our second year of marriage was definitely the toughest within our 11+ years together and I’m glad I opened up to share that with you.
If you’re looking for an update, we’re still married! It took a ton of work on ourselves and our relationship, but things are much different and vastly improved compared to last year. And thank goodness we’d done the work because we’ve endured some tragedy and grieving over the last year and I’m not sure our relationship would have been okay without a strong foundation.
I’ve been doing a lot of reflection on the past year and wanted to share three big lessons that I’ve learned in our marriage. This list is not really surface level “laugh every day and don’t go to bed angry” kind of advice, so it might not be your thing. But, if you want to get in the nitty gritty inner workings of things, then here you go!
You Have To Work On Yourself
I’m not talking about going to the gym and consumerism self-care like bath bombs and reading books (though, all lovely and welcome activities). Let me lay it out for you. Adam and I were both in denial, especially of our emotions, stressed about everything, and hit total burn out in our careers and life. The first step was acknowledging this, but the next was seeking outside support. We both go to individual counselling (still haven’t been together, though I’m sure it’ll inevitably happen one day) and have committed to this practice for life. I cannot even tell you how incredible the outside emotional support has been and I cannot recommend it enough!
I have done so much soul searching over the last year, it has been…exhausting. Every day feels like an emotional rollercoaster and it’s the toughest struggle I’ve ever endured. Honestly? I’m already so much happier for it. It’s messy and uncomfortable work, but I know that the long-term effects are going to be incredible.
On the day of a blood moon and lunar eclipse, Mercury went into retrograde, and I went to the salon and chopped all my hair off. Okay, technically it’s still long, but 4+ inches of my hair is in the trash somewhere, which is a dramatic change for me. I had a moment a few weeks ago where I suddenly hated my hairstyle more than anything in this world and if given the option at that moment, I fear that I would have shaved my head completely. It was as though my hair no longer belonged to me, and so it must be gone.
My super long mermaid mane was fun while it lasted and really, my hair grows like a weed so it could be the same length again in a few months. Truthfully, it served its part as a visual distraction and way to hide in a very weird season of my life. Behind that long and luscious mane, I was grappling with anxiety and depression and an entire spiritual revolution/identity crisis. I’ve hit a new point in the journey where I am feeling more and more like myself again and needed my ‘do to reflect that. So yeah, it’s great to no longer be Cousin Itt and to actually be able to see and be seen. Slowly but surely gaining confidence back.
For locals or visitors alike, here are some fun things to do in Vancouver this summer!
All winter long and throughout our soggy spring, Vancouverites wait for the days with even the tiniest bit of sunshine to get out and enjoy the city! There’s still (at least) 2 months of summer ahead of us, and Adam and I have been on a mission to live this season to the fullest. Beyond the touristy things and obvious beach, pool, or patio hangs, I wanted to share some summertime activities that you might want to check out. Hope you enjoy!
A weeknight sunset beach picnic
After we’ve both been cooped up indoors on computers all day, Adam and I love to make a Hello Fresh meal or grab some take-out (depending on the kind of day we’ve had LOL) and head to the beach to watch the sunset. It really deters us from sitting in front of the television all night and getting out there to soak up the sun. Despite his expression in this photo, Reggie loves our evening picnics too, I swear!
P.S. If you want to try out Hello Fresh (because it’s so amazing), then sign up here with the Promo Code: HELLOALICIA for $40 off your first box!
Pixar Exhibit @ Telus World Of Science
I’d tell you this is just for kids, but it’s 100% for adults too. I absolutely loved checking out the Science Behind Pixar exhibit at the Telus World Of Science. It is an interactive, educational, and super interesting way to spend an afternoon. Would be a great way to escape the rain or heat and there’s plenty to do and see around the dome!
Science Behind Pixar runs until January 6th, 2019
Bard On The Beach
I have spent years saying that I wanted to check out Bard On The Beach and I am SO happy to report that I finally went and that it was a blast! It’s the perfect way to spend a summer evening. My brother and I saw their playful twist on Shakespeare’s As You Like It, that takes place in 1960’s Vancouver and includes all Beatles music. Sounds crazy, but it totally works and is really entertaining!
Bard On The Beach runs until September 22nd, 2018.
I cannot believe that this month is almost over. My concept of time has been skewed by these beautiful long days and relentless heat. I also haven’t had a drop of coffee since last Tuesday, so I’m probably just sleepwalking at this point.
I feel rather lost in terms of summertime styling, but items like this adorable round straw bag and vintage looking sunglasses certainly help make a statement. That’s kind of my strategy so far this season. To rock basics and jazz them up with an accessory or two. Although in the current heat, my approach is more like how can I be semi-comfortable without looking like a slob, while wearing as little as possible so that I don’t melt like the Wicked Witch of the West?!
Within the last few years, I have finally come to terms with the fact that I have anxiety. Here is how I’ve been helping ease the anxious mind.
Honestly, I didn’t realize how bad my anxiety was until I started treating it. It’s one of those things that you somehow live with and as it gets worse and worse that just becomes your new normal until you can’t remember what life was like before you were operating at maximum distress. Fear was ruling my life and stopping me from doing regular, everyday things that should be a non-issue. I was over analyzing every single thing I did or even thought about doing.
Things that cause me extreme anxiety, in no particular order: driving, my email inbox, hanging out in large groups, posting to social media, plane travel, visiting the doctor, work deadlines, group chats, grocery shopping. Things that were once joyful or mundane were suddenly a burden. I was in a constant state of overwhelm. It was exhausting.
Once I started feeling better, I realized how much physical and mental anguish I’d been experiencing, day in and day out. I lived with chronic neck and back pain for, gosh, at least the last 6 years. When I wouldn’t answer texts, people deemed me flaky and unreliable, but really, it was just that I couldn’t deal most days. I had terrible insomnia and had the toughest time waking up in the mornings. I was also an avoider, so there were tons of important responsibilities I didn’t do, which created a lot of guilt and shame. Again, I can’t believe I lived like that for my entire adult life. It didn’t need to be so tough.
There are so many different kinds of anxiety, so what anguishes me, might not be something that resonates with you. For example, I don’t really have anxiety attacks. I have had a few on airplanes before, but that was many years ago. My anxiety also didn’t really turn into any kind of social anxiety until the last 3 or 4 years ago. Mine thrives when coupled with a bout of depression, which has happened a few times in my life. Mental health, I tell ya!
I just left my doctor’s office inquiring about unrelated fatigue (no, I’m not pregnant, please don’t suggest that like everyone else lol) and she had me go through a quiz about anxiety and depression. My anxiety results were unbelievable, she said that it was totally in check! Her words were “You don’t have anxiety” which isn’t true, but it proves that I haven’t felt anxious at all lately, and that is CRAZY progress. She also validated everything I’ve done for my mental and physical health, saying that she’d have recommended exactly what I’ve been doing, even down to the vitamins I’ve been taking. And so, I feel like I can publish this post with the confidence that these things have ABSOLUTELY helped me and I hope that some of my fellow anxiety warriors can benefit from adding some of these things to your life (only if you don’t already do them, of course).
Here are some of the basic things I’ve done to help cope with anxiety:
Therapy
I wrote a post about my first sessions, and I’ve now been doing talk therapy consistently since January. Counselling is an investment in myself and has helped me in every aspect of my life. Just having a neutral party as built-in emotional support has done incredible things for my journey toward a healthier mind. It helped ease my anxiety almost instantaneously, and she has given me lots of exercises and tools to help cope outside of our sessions. If you’re considering therapy, just flipping go! Do it!
Yoga
The beauty of a practice like yoga is that it encompasses everything that I’ve been focusing on to live wholeheartedly. It encourages compassion towards yourself and others, gratitude, staying grounded and focused, mind/body awareness, and strength in general. I honestly haven’t felt this good in my skin since I was a kid. Being open to change and discomfort on the mat can only lead you to greatness and strength that you didn’t know you had!
All the juicy details on how we created an open concept closet and the ways it has revolutionized my wardrobe!
When we did our bedroom makeover, I kept flip-flopping over what to do with my closet. Maybe I’d just keep my Pax wardrobe. Maybe not. We had a professional company come and customize the other existing closet space, which we thought could maybe hold mine and Adam’s things. Not so much. It did, however, go from a sad one bar closet to a beautiful organized display of Adam’s clothing (and my long dresses/jumpsuits).
With our limited bedroom makeover funds dwindling, my designer Jamie, from Amanda Hamilton, suggested that I either make the Pax work or find a very budget friendly solution. This led me to a lot of soul-searching in terms of what wasn’t working about my Pax wardrobe, and why I’ve never in my life been able to keep my clothes and accessories organized.
WHY OPEN CONCEPT?
I have never been able to keep my bedroom tidy. I’ve been drowning in a sea of clothing for as long as I can remember. Clearly, a traditional closet wasn’t working for me, so perhaps it was time to try something out of the box (haha literally). I knew that I had to learn how to adopt a more minimal lifestyle and that perhaps a change in wardrobe was the best way to lead me there.
This is the original photo that I found and thought would suit our space. As a visual person, I had a feeling that an open concept closet system would actually end up working for me. I made a short video to further explain why I chose this kind of closet and how it has changed the way I keep our bedroom organized.
HOW TO PREPARE
Edit, edit, and edit again. If you are a bit of a clothing packrat and you are going to stay that way, then an open concept isn’t for you (and no judgment, because I lived that way until recently). Here’s a post I did that might help you declutter your closet, and it includes a printable!
It took me months to purge our things. I had to really decide what was serving me right now and not hold onto things that were from my past. It required a LOT of letting go, but after all the work, I have to say, that it felt amazing.
Adam and I took apart our giant Pax wardrobe and cleared the corner where our new wardrobe would go. When we took the sliding door down that was a full-length mirror, we realized that we could re-use it in the room which made us really happy! Wanting it to be secure and done right, I hired my cousin’s husband to install my Pinterest inspired open concept closet and he went out to Home Depot for supplies. Below is what we used and what our final measurements ended up being.
Hello, my name is Alicia and I have a serious case of wanderlust. I’m also not rich, so there’s that. Here’s how I was able to save money on my recent trip to Europe.
I was looking up personality traits of a female Sagittarius yesterday and the number one thing that is ALWAYS highlighted is the need for a Sag to travel. This absolutely could not be more true for me, especially in the last few years. Yeah, I’m a bit of a late bloomer on the travel front, but now that I’ve started these bigger adventures, I just can’t stop. I want to see the world!
The problem with this, of course, is that I don’t have unlimited funds (HA! Not even close), so this requires some creativity at times. When I went to Europe in November 2017, I’d booked my flights impulsively and decided that my goal for the entire trip was to budget as much as possible without compromising comfort. At this stage in my life, I can’t do backpacking or sleep in bunk beds and share a washroom. Just not where I’m at, ya know? So there’s a balance for sure.
I’d consider my total budget for 2 weeks in Europe to be moderate to lower(?), but I’ll have a more detailed breakdown on the blog soon about how money was spent and how you can maybe book a similar amazing Euro trip that won’t break the bank!
Here are a few things that I did or kept in mind in order to stay under budget.
1. Go In The Off Season
If you’re open to it, I recommend considering visiting Europe in the shoulder season. I’ve been to the UK in November, as well as February, and both times it was cold, sure, but we had tons of sunshine. Malta in November was wonderful, we still had quite warm, but mild temperatures in the daytime and we weren’t bothered with crowds anywhere. What you gain when you sacrifice peak season weather, is fewer tourists and in turn, a better connection with the people and the places you’re visiting. I really mean it. You can also often find flight deals (see below) and reduced rates for attractions and activities. Adam and I are booking our next trip across the pond for a wedding this fall and it’ll be the end of November and early December again. I can’t wait!
